Blood Promise Chapter Twenty-Three

Unfortunately, I couldnt remember where Id snarl it in advance.Considering everything else that had been happening to me, the fact that Id regular rec totallyed it at all was remarkable. My memories were a miniature-scale scattered, dormant I did my silk hat to sift by dint of them, wondering where I had see that tickling in my brain. I received no answers, and mull oer it all presently became as frustrating as coming up with an escape plan.And as to a greater extent than time passed, I realized I really did need an escape plan. The endorphin withdrawal was killing me, but I was reckoning more and more clearly as the effects left everyplace my system. I was astonished at how come out of it Id let myself become. As soon as Id allowed Dimitri to bite me Id fallen apart. Id disconnected my graduate(prenominal)er reasoning. Id mixed-up my metier and skills. Id become soft and silly and stupid. Well, non entirely. If Id completely lost it, Id be a Strigoi now. on tha t point was few simplicity, at least, in humping that make up while high on bites, whatever part of me had muted fought through and through and refuse to succumb.Knowing I wasnt as entirely weak as Id believed helped watch over me waiver. It made it easier to ignore the yearning in my body, to discommode myself with bad TV and take in all the food in the slight refrigerator. I even stayed awake for a long time in the hopes of exhausting myself. It disciplineed, and I crashed as soon as I hit the pillow, drifting into a dreamless sleep with no withdrawal effects.I was awakened ulterior when a body slid into bed beside me. I opened my eyes and st bed mature into Dimitris red matchlesss. For the outgrowth time in daytimes, I whole steped at him with fear, not love. I kept that off my face, though, and smiled at him. I reached out and moved(p) his face.Youre tail end. I missed you.He caught my hand and kissed my palm. I had things to do.The shadows shifted on his fac e, and I caught the tiniest glimpse of dried blood near his mouth. Grimacing, I rubbed it off with my finger. So I soak up.Its the natural order, Rose. How be you feeling?Better. ExceptWhat?I directed away, conflicted over again. The look in his eyes on the dot then was more than simple curiosity. there was concern there-only a little-but it was there. Concern for me. And yet only a wink ago, Id wiped blood from his face-blood from whatever poor person whose life had been snuffed out in spite of appearance the last few hours, most equivalently.I was in Lissas head, I verbalise at last. There was no harm in enjoining him this. comparable Nathan, he knew she was at the Academy. And I got pushed out.Pushed out?Yeah I was sightedness through her eyes give c are I usually do, and then both(prenominal) force I dont last, an invisible hand shoved me out. Ive never matt-up everything like it.Maybe its a new spirit ability.Maybe. Except, Ive been watching her regularly, and Ive never seen her send or even consider anything like that.He shrugged slightly and rove an arm around me. Being awakened gives you better senses and accessibility to the world. solely it doesnt make you omniscient. I dont know why that happened to you.Clearly not omniscient, or else Nathan wouldnt pauperism information almost her so badly. wherefore is that? Why are the Strigoi fixated on killing the purplish lines? We know theyve-youve-been doing it, but why? What does it head? Isnt a victim a victim-especially when plenty of Strigoi used to be royal Moroi?That requires a complicated answer. A large part of hunting Moroi royalty is fear. In your gray-headed world, royalty are held above all others. They tug the better(p) guardians, the best protection. Yes, that was certainly trustworthy. Lissa had discovered that oft at Court. If we house take over get to them through that, then what does it say? It means no one is safe. It creates fear, and fear makes people do foolish things. It makes them easier prey.Thats grievous.Prey or-Yeah, yeah, I know. Prey or predator.His eyes narrowed slightly, apparently not impulse the interruption. He let it go. Theres also a bene jibe to unraveling Moroi leadership. That creates instability, withal.Or maybe theyd be better off with a change of leadership, I verbalise. He gave me another odd look, and I was a bit startled myself. There I was, thinking like Victor Dashkov again. I realized I should just be quiet. I wasnt behaving like my usual scattered and high self. Whats the suspire?The confront A smile curved up his lips. The rest is prestige. We do it for the glory of it. For the reputation it gives us and the satisfaction of knowing were answerable for destroying that which others drivent been able to destroy for centuries.Simple Strigoi nature. Malice, hunting, and death. There didnt need to be any other reasons.Dimitris gaze moved past me to my bedside defer. It was where I took off all my je welry at night and laid it out. All his gifts were there, glittering like slightlywhat pirates trea indisputable. Reaching over me, he lifted up the nazar on its chain. You still have this.Yup. Not as pretty as your stuff, though. eyesight the blue eye reminded me of my mother. I hadnt judgment slightlywhat her in a very long time. Back in Baia, Id gr knowledge to see Olena as a secondary mother, but now now I genial of wished for my own. Janine Hathaway business leader not cook and clean, but she was smart and competent. And in some ways, I realized with a start, we thought alike. My traits had come from her, and I knew with head of course that in this detail, she wouldnt have stopped planning escape.This I havent seen in front, Dimitri said. Hed designate the nazar abide down and picked up the plain silver ring Mark had granted me. I hadnt worn it since I was last in the Belikov house and had set it on the table next to the nazar.I got it while I was- I stopped, rea lizing I hadnt ever brought up my travels before Novosibirsk.While you were what?While I was in your hometown. In Baia.Dimitri was performing with the ring, moving it from fingertip to fingertip, but he paused and glanced over at me when I said the name. You were there? Strangely, we hadnt talked much about that. Id mentioned Novosibirsk a few times, but that was it.I thought thats where youd be, I explained. I didnt know that Strigoi did their hunting in cities here. I stayed with your family.His eyes returned to the ring. He continued playing with it, twirling it and rolling it around. And?And they were nice. I liked them. I hung out with Viktoria a lot.Why wasnt she at school?It was Easter.Ah, right. How was she?Fine, I said quickly. I couldnt bring myself to tell him about that last night with her and Rolan. Karolinas uncorrupted too. She reminds me of you. She really laid into some dhampir guys who were causing trouble.He smiled again, and it was nice. I mean, the fangs still made it creepy, but it didnt have that sinister edge Id come to expect. There was fondness in his face, true affection that startled me. I can see Karolina doing that. Did she have her corrupt yet?Yeah I was still a little throw off by that smile. It was a girl. Zoya.Zoya, he repeated, still not expression at me. Not a bad name. How was Sonya?Okay. I didnt see too much of her. Shes a little touchy Viktoria says its because of the pregnancy.Sonyas pregnant too?Oh. Yeah. sextuplet months, I think.His smile dimmed a little bit, and he roughly seemed concerned. I suppose it had to happen sooner or later. Her conclusions arent always as wise as Karolinas. Karolinas children were by choice Im guessing Sonyas was a awe.Yeah. I mannequin of got that feeling too.He ticked off the rest of his family members. My mother and granny knot?Er, fine. Both of them. This conversation was becoming increasingly strange. Not only was it the first normal one wed had since Id arrived, it was also the first time hed really seemed raise in anything that wasnt Strigoi related or that didnt involve petting and biting, aside from some reminiscing about our early fights together-and the teasing reminders of sex in the cabin. Your grandmother excite me a little.He laughed, and I flinched. It was so, so close to his old laugh. close set(predicate) than Id ever imagined it could be. Yes, she does that to people.And she pretended not to speak English. That was a pretty small detail in the grand scheme of things, but it still pattern of pissed me off.Yes, she does that too. He continued smiling, voice fond. Do they all still live together? In that same house?Yup. I motto the books you told me about. The pretty ones-but I couldnt demonstrate them.Thats where I first got into American westerns.Man, I loved making fun of you over those.He chuckled. Yes, between that, your stereotypes about Eastern European music, and the whole ?comrade thing, you had plenty of material.I laughed t oo. ?Comrade and the music were kind of out of line. Id almost forgotten about my old nickname for him. It didnt fit anymore. But you brought the cowboy thing on yourself, between the leather sirocco and- I stopped. Id started to mention his duty to help those in need, but that was scarcely the case anymore. He didnt notice my lapse.And then you left them and came to Novosibirsk?Yeah. I came with those dhampirs I was hunting with those other unpromised ones. I almost didnt, though. Your family wanted me to stay. I thought about doing it.Dimitri held the ring up to the light, face shadowed with thought. He sighed. You probably should have.Theyre good people.They are, he said softly. You cogency have been golden there.Reaching over, he set the ring back on the table and then turned to me, bringing our mouths together. It was the softest, sweetest kiss hed given me as a Strigoi, and my already considerable shock increased. The gentleness was fleeting, though, and a few seconds late r, our kissing returned to what it usually was, forceful and empty. I had a feeling he was hungry for more than just kissing, too, despite having fed recently. Pushing aside my mix-up over how well, normal and kind hed seemed while talking about his family, I tried to figure out how I was going to dodge more biting without raising suspicion. My body was still weak and wanting it, but in my head, I felt more like myself than I had in ages.Dimitri pulled up from the kiss, and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind before he could do anything else. Whats it like?Whats what like?Kissing.He frowned. Score one for me. Id momentarily baffled an undead creature of the night. Sydney would be proud. What do you mean?You said be awakened enhances all the senses. Is kissing different then?Ah. reason flashed over his features. It is, kind of. My sense of smell is stronger than it used to be, so your smell comes through much more intensely your sweat, the shampoo in your hair its b eyond what you can imagine. Intoxicating. And of course, sharper taste and touch make this better. He leaned down and kissed me again, and something about his description made my insides queasy-in a good way. That wasnt supposed(a) to happen. My hope was to distract him-not myself.When we were outside the other night, the flowers were really strong. If theyre strong to me, are they overwhelming to you? I mean, do the scents get to be too much?And so it began. I bombarded him with as many questions as I could, ask him about all aspects of Strigoi life. I wanted to know what it was like, how he felt I asked everything with curiosity and enthusiasm, biting my lip and turning thoughtful at all the right places. I could see his interest grow as I spoke, though his attitude was brisk and efficient-in no way resembling our preliminary affectionate conversation. He was hoping that I was in the end on the verge of agreeing to turn.As the questioning continued, so also did my outward sign s of fatigue. I yawned a lot, lost my train of thought a lot. Finally, I rubbed my eyes with my hands and yawned again. Theres so much I didnt know still dont knowI told you it was amazing.Honestly, some of it was. Most of it was creepy as hell, but if you got over the whole undead and unholy thing, there were definitely some perks to being Strigoi.I have more questions, I murmured. I closed my eyes and sighed, then opened them as though forcing myself to stay awake. But Im so tired I still dont feel good. You dont think I have a concussion, do I?No. And once youre awakened, it wont matter anyway.But not until you answer the rest of my questions. The words were muffled in a yawn, but he understood. It took him a while to respond.Okay. Not until then. But time is running out. I told you that before.I let my lids drift closed then. But its not the second day yetNo, he said quietly. Not yet.I lay there, steady my breathing as much as I could. Would my act work? It was highly possible he would still drink from me even if he thought I was asleep. I was taking a gamble here. wholeness bite, and all my work to fight the withdrawal would be wasted. Id reset to how Id been. As it was, I had no clue how I was going to dodge a bite next time but then, I didnt think thered be a next time. Id be a Strigoi by then.Dimitri lay beside me for a few more minutes, and then I felt him move. Inside, I brace myself. Damn. Here it came. The bite. Id been certain that our kissing was part of the allure of him drinking from me and that if I just fell asleep, the allure would be gone. Apparently not. All my pretending was for nada. It was all over.But it wasnt.He got up and left.When I heard the gateway close, I almost thought it was a scam. I thought for sure he was trying to fake me out and still actually stood in the room. til now when I felt the Strigoi nausea fade, I realized the truth. He really had left me, thinking I needed to sleep. My act had been convincing.I immediatel y sat up, turning a few different things over in my mind. In that last bit of his visit, hed seemed well, hed reminded me more than ever of the old Dimitri. Sure, hed still been Strigoi through and through, but thered been something else. A bit of warmth to his laugh. naive interest and affection upon hearing about his family. Had that been it? Had hearing news of his family triggered some particle of his soul buried within the monster? I confess, I felt a little jealous at the thought that they might have wrought the change in him that I couldnt. But hed still had that same warmth in talking about us, just a littleNo, no. I had to stop this. There was no change. No reversal of his state. It was wishful thinking, and the more I regained my old self, the more I realized the truth of the situation.Dimitris actions had made me recall something. Id completely forgotten about Oksanas ring. I picked it up from the table and slipped it on my finger. I felt no noticeable change, but if th e healing magic was still in it, it might help me. It could expedite my body and mind healing from the withdrawal. If any of Lissas vestige was bleeding into me, the ring could help dampen that, too.I sighed. No matter how often I told myself I was free of her, I never would be. She was my best friend. We were connected in a way that few could understand. The denial Id been lifespan under lifted. I regretted my actions with Adrian now. Hed come to me for help, and Id thrown his kindness back in his face. presently I was bereft of communication with the outside world.And thinking of Lissa reminded me again of what had happened earlier when Id been in her mind. What had pushed me out? I hesitated, pondering my course of action. Lissa was out-of-the-way(prenominal) away and possibly in trouble. Dimitri and the other Strigoi were here. But I couldnt laissez passer away quite yet. I had to take one more look at her, just a quick oneI assemble her in an unexpected place. She was wit h Deirdre, a counselor on campus. Lissa had been seeing a counselor ever since spirit had begun manifesting, but it had been individual else. Expanding my senses to Lissas thoughts, I read the story Her counselor had left shortly after the schools attack. Lissa had been reassigned to Deirdre-who had once counseled me when everyone thought I was going crazy over Masons death.Deirdre was a very polished- tone Moroi, always meticulously dressed with her blond hair styled to perfection. She didnt look much aged(a) than us, and with me, her counseling method had resembled a police interrogation. With Lissa, she was more gentle. It figured.Lissa, were a little worried about you. Normally, you would have been suspended. I actually stopped that from happening. I keep feeling like theres something going on that you arent telling me. close to other issue.Lissa suspended? I again reached in to read the situation and found it. Last night, Lissa and others had been busted for breaking into th e library of all places and having an extempore party complete with alcohol and destruction to some of the property. Good God. My best friend needed to join AA.Lissas arms were crossed, her demeanor almost combative. Theres no issue. We were just trying to have fun. Im sorry for the damage. If you want to suspend me, go ahead.Deirdre shook her head. Thats not my decision. My concern is the why here. I know you used to suffer from depression and other problems because of your, ah, magic. But this feels more like some kind of rebellion.Rebellion? Oh, it was more than that. Since their fight, Lissa had been unable to go out Christian, and it was killing her. She couldnt exert downtime now. All she thought about was him-or me. Partying and risk taking were the only things that could distract her from us.Students do this stuff all the time, argued Lissa. Why is it a big make do for me?Well, because you put yourself in danger. After the library, you were on the verge of breaking into the pool. swim while intoxicated is definite cause for alarm.Nobody drowned. Even if someone had started to, Im sure that between all of us, we could have pulled them out.Its just alarming, considering some of the suicidal behaviors you once exhibited, like the cuttingSo it went for the next hour, and Lissa did as good a job as I used to in outline Deirdres questions. When the session ended, Deirdre said she wasnt going to recommend disciplinary action. She wanted Lissa back for more counseling. Lissa would have actually preferred detention or cleanup spot boards.As she stalked furiously across campus, she spotted Christian going in the opposite direction. Hope lit the blackness of her mind like sunshine.Christian she yelled, running up to him.He stopped, giving her a circumspect look. What do you want?What do you mean what do I want? She wanted to throw herself in his arms and have him tell her everything would be okay. She was upset and overwhelmed and filled with darkness bu t there was a piece of vulnerability there that desperately needed him. I havent been able to find you.Ive just been His face darkened. I dont know. Thinking. Besides, from what I hear, you havent been too bored. No surprise everyone knew about last nights fiasco. That kind of thing spread like wildfire give thanks to the Academys gossip mill.It was nothing, she said. The way he regarded her made her center field ache.Thats the thing, he said. Everythings nothing lately. All your partying. Making out with other guys. Lying.I havent been lying she exclaimed. And when are you going to get over Aaron?You arent telling me the truth. Its the same thing. It was an echo of Jills sentiment. Lissa precisely knew her and was really starting to hate her. I just cant handle this. I cant be a part of you going back to your days of being a royal girl doing crazy stunts with your other royal friends.Heres the thing. If Lissa had clarify on her feelings more, on just how much her guilt and depr ession were eating her up and making her spin out of control well, I think Christian would have been there for her in an instant. Despite his cynical exterior, he had a good heart-and Lissa owned most of it. Or used to. Now all he could see was her being silly and shallow and move to a lifestyle he despised.Im not she exclaimed. Im just I dont know. It just feels good to sort of let loose.I cant do it, he said. I cant be with you if thats your life now.Her eyes went wide. Are you breaking up with me?Im I dont know. Yeah, I guess. Lissa was so consumed by the shock and horror of this that she didnt really see Christian the way I did, didnt see the agony in his eyes. It ruined him to have to do this. He was hurting too, and all he aphorism was the girl he loved changing and becoming someone he couldnt be with. Things arent the way they used to be.You cant do that, she cried. She didnt see his pain. She saw him as being cruel and unfair. We need to talk about this-figure it out-The t ime for talkings past, he argued. You should have been ready to talk sooner-not now, not when things suddenly arent going your way.Lissa didnt know whether she wanted to scream or cry. She just knew she couldnt lose Christian-not after losing me, too. If she lost both of us, there was nothing left for her in the world.Please, dont do this, she begged. I can change.Im sorry, he fool awayped. I just dont see any designate of that.He turned and abruptly walked away. To her, his departure was harsh and cold. But again, Id seen the dread in his eyes. I think he left because he knew if he stayed, he wasnt going to be able to go through with this decision-this decision that hurt but that he felt was right. Lissa started to go after him when a hand suddenly pulled her back. She turned and saw Avery and Adrian standing there. From the looks on their faces, theyd overheard everything.let him go, said Adrian gravely. Hed been the one to grab her. He dropped his hand and laced his fingers th rough Averys. Going after him nows just going to make it worse. Give him his space.He cant do this, said Lissa. He cant do this to me.Hes upset, said Avery, her concern mirroring Adrians. He isnt thinking straight. Wait for him to cool off, and hell come around.Lissa stared off after Christians retreating figure, her heart breaking. I dont know. I dont know if he will. Oh God. I cant lose him.My own heart broke. I wanted so badly to go to her, to comfort her and be there for her. She felt so alone, and I felt horrible for leaving her.Something had pushed her into this downward spiral, and I should have been there to help her out of it. That was what best friends did. I needed to be there.Lissa turned back and looked at Avery. Im so confused I dont know what to do.Avery met her eyes, but when she did the strangest thing happened. Avery wasnt looking at her. She was looking at me.Oh jeez. Not you again.The voice rang in my head, and snap I was out of Lissa.There it was, the mental sho ve, the brush of my mind and waves of blistery and cold. I stared around my room, shocked at how abrupt the transition had been. Yet Id learned something. I knew then that Lissa hadnt been the one to shove me out before or now. Lissa had been too distracted and too distraught. The voice? That hadnt been hers either.And then, I finally remembered where Id felt that brushing touch in my head. Oksana. It was the same sensation Id experienced when she had reached out to my mind, trying to get a feel for my moods and intentions, an action that both she and Mark admitted was invasive and wrong if you werent bonded to someone.Carefully, I replayed what had just happened with Lissa. Once again, I saw those last few moments. Blue-gray eyes staring at me-me, not Lissa.Lissa hadnt pushed me out of her head.Avery had.